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Marriage counselor weighs in on reasons for divorce, pt. 2

In the first post of this two-part series in our Dallas divorce blog, we began a short discussion about how major life events and time itself can change people. It is certainly understandable that two people may choose to end a marriage that they essentially entered into as two different people.

Marriage counselor Elizabeth Ochoa, PhD, listens and helps couples pinpoint pain spots in their relationship. In her experience, she found that serious illness is one of the most common life events that leads to divorce. Of course, this is not the only one she mentioned.

Ochoa named several other events, including: 

  • Unemployment or career changes: Financial stressors can weigh on a relationship, but so can a new job. New schedules or tough job requirements can change a relationship.
  • The birth of a child and empty-nesting: Children are a lot of work and it can cause extra stress on a relationship. It is also easy to focus life on the needs of the children, but once they are gone, what happens? Couples often find that they have lost emotional or intimate aspects of their relationship. In other cases, they are simply different people than they were when they got married.
  • Separate living arrangements: Living apart due to a job, military service or family obligations can exacerbate feelings of loneliness or create mistrust for some people.
  • Traumatic events: Trauma changes people, which can lead to divorce. Ochoa also noted that a partner can be a constant reminder of a very painful event, like the loss of a child.
  • Infidelity: Ochoa noted that cheating is an interesting factor. She has seen it end marriages and make them stronger. Restlessness that occurs after the children move out isn’t always something that prompts people to seek counseling. Infidelity does, and it can force couples to talk about the underlying problems in their relationship.

Marriage counselors are not the only people who understand relationships. If you are considering divorce, an attorney can help you prepare. A good plan can help make the process easier and less expensive.

Source: Health.com, “7 Life Events That Can Lead to Divorce,” Amanda MacMillion, March 20, 2015

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