Going through a divorce is a tough and emotional battle, no matter the circumstances. Even if you are able to be amicable with your divorcing spouse, you will have to come to terms with the fact that your relationship has come to an end and that your children will no longer have an intact family unit.
Dealing with a divorcing spouse who is toxic, aggressive and hostile toward you can only make things more difficult to deal with. They may be acting in this way because they are upset and hurt, but they may also have more strategic and manipulative intentions. During the divorce process, stakes are high, and it is important that you do not let your divorcing spouse’s emotions change your perspective. The following are some actions to take if you are divorcing a toxic spouse.
Write down your goals
It’s easy to let a toxic person change your mood, diminish your sense of worth and limit your expectations of what you are entitled to. Your divorcing spouse may convince you, for example, that you do not deserve to have full custody of your children or that you should not be able to keep the family home. Take the time to sit down and write down what you believe you are entitled to, and never let your divorcing spouse tell you otherwise.
Know your legal rights
The law is king, and your entitlements to a fair share of marital assets are defined by your legal rights, not the opinions of your divorcing spouse. The more you have a clear understanding of the law and how it affects you, the better-equipped you will be to face any attempt of manipulation or coercion.
You may have no choice but to remain in contact with your divorcing spouse for the sake of your children. However, you have the right to set boundaries for the appropriate amount of contact. You may wish to prevent them from entering your home, or insist on drop-offs halfway between your home and theirs.
If you are going through a divorce and you are worried about your divorcing spouse’s toxic or manipulative behavior, it’s important that you develop a concrete divorce strategy so that you are able to gain the settlement that you and your children deserve.